master chef jay

last few days i keep having pot luck( issit spell like tis?)... we haf it cheryl's place n ysd at andy's place.... i cook so much chicken now tat i m expert at it alr!

had this super cock conversation wif cheryl when i nid to go over to her hse..

''eh we coming in a few mins''

''u all wanna come in from the back or the front?''

den i desiao her......'' wah u so direct?!! u wan us to come in front or come behind...? anyway u are comfortable wif..''

''oh u all come in from the front den come in....'' den she suddenly realise the joke,'' wah jay u are damn disgusting!!''

''eh u dun bluff lar.. u wan us all in front or some behind n some in front.. u tink u chio not... if u chio we come from in front , if not we come from behind(so dont nid to look at the face)......hahahaha''

''...........''

hahahaha.. she is damn cock lar...always haf this super blur face.. oh our beloved weng seng falls in love wif her!!! hahahh... it's so freaking funny... cheryl even tell us the conversations they had

'' hi cheryl, i m weng seng n ah ...wat are u doing now? i m veri lonely and i need some company....''

''erm.. i m veri veri busy now...''

''oh like dat.. where do u live...mayb i can go over n help u or i can go over to ur hse n haf some chat or sth''

''erm.. i live near the central station but it's inconvenient for u to come''( in other words fuck off! hahaha)

''no no no .. i m not a stalker dont get me wrong!''............hahahaha ... classic man.. classic...

i tink weng seng can write a bk.. '' 101 ways to scare a ger away''.... i m sure tat will cfm be a top seller man...

COLD STUFF

last 2 days are crazy lar... went to surfer's wif ronald, elvin, fabian , han biao and victor on saturday... n we freaking swim in the waves !! FUCK MAN.. it's defintiely one of the craziest thing i done... 5 degrees that day n was raining n the waves are like fucking fucking high... i tink at least 2 or 3 times my height n it's fucking scary to see such huge wave consuming u...plus u are shivering wif cold even when in water!! den when reach home straightaway kanna fever n haf to chiong down to elvin hse to play mj ... tat day i tink i had one of the best sleep in brissie

DEN on sunday, we played soccer in the freaking rain !! oOMG... i cant believe i did tat still... 4 hrs in the rain n playing under 10 degrees is damn sick!! n all teh fucked up mud n stuff... but the bloody worst thing is i forget to bring clothes to change!! i almost frost to death while walking.. the sight of a few of us who didnt bring clothes, straighten our upper bodies while walking so dat our body will minimise the contact wif the clothes is truly memorable... ahhaah... n again after the crazy soccer, i chiong to robbie's hse to play poker.. fuck man.. i tink i realli nid to hone my poker skills more...playing wif robbie they all realli improve my game

juz realise cheena ppl realli love to call themselves stupid names.. at first i tot the guy wif the name ''nokia'' is dumb enuff... now i saw a ger call kinky!! haha.. i saw her name i straightaway laugh in front of her... haha... how kinky can a name be man, literally!! den she stare at me as if she gave me the wrong medicine or sth... i still remember ben's favorite china ger call KIKI...haha.. he always look at her hairy armpits... realli damn funny... oh yar n a guy name called STRONG!..ahha... strong?! realli a pretty tough guy eh....

EKKA DAY

last nite i got a horrible horrible nightmare man!! fucking scary ...even scarier than being gang banged by horny old gay men.........i dreamt tat my mom ask me to marry Anderine ... OMG.. n dunnoe somehow i agree to tat fucking stupid idea . N the moment i agree to it , i regretted it... IMAGINE HOW FUCKING SCARY IT IS!!..

den within a day, all the preparations are finished n i m fucking screwed... i cant do anything to stop it...i wanted to tell them it was a bloody joke....they took it too seriously and wanted to cancel the whole bloody shit... BUT i couldn't tell tat to Anderine... SHE WOULD KILL ME.. i mean anyone will kill me for doing dat...but in the end i still did cancel it.. n i did it in the most ridiculous manner... i shouted ''NO!! THIS WEDDING IS CANCELLED!!'' in the middle of a crowd who are doing preparations and every human being there stared at me n chase me to kill me..den LUCKILY i woke up!! WOO HOO...haha.. nice ending ya?

BTW todae is EKKA day..it's a public holiday... at first i tot it's ''ikea day'' n ekka is the way ang moh pronounce ikea... n i was tinking ikea got sale also got holiday for them?!?! what a fucking lame reason for a holiday man!! end up it's even more absurd!! EKKA is an annual funfair where ppl go there to do rides n win some dumb soft toys.. n YES THEY HAF A HOLIDAY TO PLAY FUNFAIR!! haha.. seriously damn lame lar.. more lame than ''ikea day''...

ysd nite went to EKKA wif KAI, his gf n some of his friends... wah lan i sit the rides i wanna die ar... i almost vomit out my hotdog.. n it doesnt help tat i fucking scare of heights... i got scared the shits out of me when the rotating thingy spins like 8 storeys high or sth n turn upside down!! OMG MAN... tat was the closest to heaven i ever felt..mayb it's this bloody ride that cause the bloody nightmare

our ndp pics are out!! on the stomp website somemore....... http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/viewPost4752.aspx

but i look weird in the pic....

todae i saw an extremely disgusting sight of a ger walking wif extreme movements of ur ass!! damn disgusting... n her voice is fucking teh... OMG... i feel like puking my beef hor fun when i see her coming in...

ysd i went to the SSA national day ball n i saw a fucking hot hot hot babe in a red gown!! OMG.. she's easily the hottest HOTTEST asian i haf seen here... n i tink she's a singaporean too.. n her dad is some high commissioner of brisbane or some sort...WAH LAN...seriously damn it man... tat no one in my grp noes any of her friends..

NATIONAL DAY!

todae was mad lar... 200 plus ppl come for the national day live in N block ... wah lan... first time i watched wif so many ppl... n seriously i super miss singapore!! esp when i see marina bay... n for this yr i haf tix for NDP!! shit man

aniwae this is the first time celebrating national day outisde singapore... kinda weird lar... i m not tat kind of patriotic kind of person but somehow i feel like singing all those singapore songs... i can still remember 2 bloody yrs ago when i m still in Ns... i haf duty in camp on national day n haf to watch NDP sneakily at one corner at nite to prevent kanna caught by master ramesh... n how i hated NDP n how it's bloody overrated...

oh well at least the whole thing was a great success!! the lecture room is so filled tat we haf to turn away a few pp:(...n i didnt even haf a chance to eat the bee hoon !!...

also called teh cadetship person ysd after he said i could onli get 1k per yr onli.. damn man... 1k ??!! david got like 6k per yr LAR!! oh man... juz coz i m not a citizen....oh well dat means it's not attractive at all.. onli gd coz i could get an almost guaranteed working visa n PR which is also worthless and also a bloody waste of time coz i wan to fucking hell go HOME ASAP!!!

A NEW WENG SENG>??

NSFF is on again!!.. though the dinner was quite ordinary but pretty pricey...

tonites dinner wif one of the messiest dinner EVER... i went out wif a grp of abt 15 singaporeans ... super shag... meeting at hungry jack's for 15 ppl is alr a chore... den we keep discussing where to go... stand in the middle of the queen st for 20 mins!! juz to decide where to go... den finally decided den last min some ppl wan to go elsewhere... argh!! den STILL we broke up to eat at different places... i sibe buay tahan this kind of shit...eat 1 meal also muz take so long... juz go 1 place n juz EAT!! but also cannot blame lar.. we singaporeans are too used to hawker centers or food court which brissie doesnt haf in the evening(extremely dumb rite? food court closes juz before dinner time)...

went to Bubbles to chill out after dinner... n the reason we chose it was BECOZ OF A WAITRESS!! ... woo hoo... i didnt object of course... the ger was giving ''half-ball handicap'' n how could we refuse to take it... the other waitresses are pretty cute too...wonder if they would wan to hire another waiter not...hmmmm

BUT STILL chilling out wif so many ppl pisses me off, find a place to sit also muz tuo tuo la la... n the guy sitting beside is freaking weird...not onli he looked like a nerd, his behavior suggests the same shit of him...he keeps getting veri veri defensive on wat he says n always try to ''win'' any conversation ,which is rather irritating.. i can sense tat everyone dont realli like him, but he keeps toking... reminds me of the famous ''he shall not be named'' of unilodge...

mac rules....my ass!

an expensive-but-not-tat-gd dessert place that took 30 mins to walk there

the dinner steamboat in laos tat causes my food poisoning

knn... mac os is frustrating me!! seriously... i cant get used to the mac office at all n the new printer i bought does support mac!!! can u believe it?!!!.. SERIOUSLY mac is a pc of shit... it has totally no other functions other than looking cool n free from virus...
''oh u got a mac!! n a black one too!! it's so rare!!..it 's so cool!!''... seriously tt's the onli fucking praise tat this shit machine gets n i m not even joking.. it's juz like a freaking brad pitt-looking guy wif bad breath , body odor ,stupid, idiot, no integrity n loves SM ....

WAIT TILL I GET BACK to singapore n install windows n byebye MAC OSx... i will onli use it if i go out in coffeebean or starbucks...

tinking of getting a cadetship for optometry.. btw cadetship is something like a scholarship but u haf to work for the company for the amount yrs they gif u money after u grad... i will get 2k to 3k aussie per yr n probably a economy class flight back to singapore every yr... cool deal eh? but if i get it i cant go to UK anymore! , let alone quit optometry n go back to smu... i m not enjoying this course anymore though it damn easy to pass(not to score though)... all the fucking pracs are pissing me off... totally useless... all the marketing, planning stuff, doing projects are 10 times more interesting than wearing the stupid lab coat n dumb lab glasses mixing chemicals...but it does contribute to ''jay's global tour fund''....hmmm

oh yar.. my stomach still feeling fucked up... ever since i came back from laos... food poisoning last so long one meh??

love bite

OMG... todae Anny wore a fucking low-cut dress to school...n u noe wat... she had a love bite on her breast!! OMG.. can she use her fucking brain... or is she showing off her love bite.... or she tinks all of us are bloody idiots who neva had or seen a lovebite before( ok i agree some of the kids in my class dont)... but pls...show some decency ,ger!... seriously all her image of her gone... tot she was an innocent cute cute asian ger ...oh well... wat can i expect from aussies rite? seeing an innocent n virgin aussie ger is as rare as seeing Jesus partying in HELL...

paul asked me to go for a church gathering todae...n it was fun!... great food ,esp the soy chicken .. . n got to noe quite a few new ppl... seya intro us a new style of monopoly... there is no paper money n every team get a credit card. it's fucking useless!!! the banker(who is seya).. is so bloody busy n fucking waste of time to juz transfer a few k to each other...n i m super surprised a few ppl doesnt noe hw to play monopoly!! OMG where ur childhood??!!

1 thing i discover from church gatherings is that there is always no chio bus!!... haha.. it's an worldwide phenomenon...hot gers are seldom pious..the hottest ger in the group is probably kristen ... but she's way too old n too spiritual...

went to a strip club todae wif a friend(he didnt wan anyone to noe)....... it's his virgin trip there... so i treated him to it... n OMG the entrance is 15 bucks!!! crazy!! n there is no crowd at all... so boring........ n the gers didnt strip... u haf to pay for them to strip or do a lap dance... fucking lame... the previous one tat i went wif william is a billions times betta n cheaper... oh well... sorry mate... lousy virgin trip for u... betta luck next time

finally back at brissie!! honestly i was realli realli tempted not to come back so i purposely delayed paying my school fees till the last day... singapore is tooo gd... but den again, i didnt gif brissie much chance to impress too..

paul told me that he went to sdyney in the winter break n it was awesome!! not onli the food is great n cheap , the ppl there are friendlier n it's veri asian.. abit too late lar.. now change to new south wales abit hard... but i tink i more lao jiao here alr... come back here the feeling is totally different from the first few wks here..feels much more like home!..n my new housemates are freaking funny

Marc n belinda are my new housemates... marc is freaking funny... we chatted todae n he was telling me where to find drunken babes to fuck in brissie...he somemore classified them in to categories... like if u wanna fuck backpackers, u shd go DOWN UNDER... if wanna fuck rich russians go to this bar in the BIG W... all this said right in front of his gf!... haha.. n she always gif him TAT look... realli funny couple... n he told me he fucked 18 gers before... n he's aiming for 30 before he reached 30 actually but has to stop coz he had belinda... n asked me to continue his legacy... ok i haf a lot of shit to catch up for that aim....ahaha...n YES AFTER WHERE he ''advised'' me to club, Brissie suddenly dont feel like a boring place anymore!!

eileen now became much chioer... went to her rm n chat wif her till midnite... mayb coz of wat she wearing.. she wore a bathrobe n gers in bathrobe ALWAYS LOOK much hotter...

had this veri lame conversation wif a dumb indian when i was hafing supper wif IAC ppl...
i ordered mee rebus but waited for damn long for it n everyone's dishes came onli... so i ask the indian who took my order...

''hey, where's my mee rebus.. i tink i got order didnt i?''
''dont have.''
''huh? got wat.. i m sure i got order''
''realli dont haf''
''confirm got...hey u all got see me order rite?!''
''dont haf mee rebus how to let u order...''
''...................................''

my stay at singapore is coming to an end... n i haven got time to meet everyone!!!.... haf too many things to do after i m back n i m seriously suffering from a mini-burnout .... in fact todae was the onli day i was able to slp till 11am n eat lunch at home....

meet up wif jiayan n alicia this evening n had a bit of a chat wif them... seriously i realli miss SMU a lot but den i neva regret gng aussie though...the experience i got is realli great... looking at the freshies doing the assoc camp reminds me of last yr when my group won EVERYTHING in assoc camp last yr n probably the best camp i had!!

had a veri veri veri full supper wif marc, greg, lewis,mr ruan ji, wc juz now...realli miss the days of supper... in brissie WE DONT HAF SUPPER places... the most is a fucking dumb macdonald's at queen st mall...TERRIBLE...

but life's great nevertheless...n if i able to go UK next yr it is gonna be greater!!

back!!

BACK!!!... finally back to the land of world class trains, buses n a world where i can speak proper english... no more ''same same no different'' n arguing over prices from those super irritating cyclos drivers!!

these few wks there has been great!! as Ben will say ,'' QUALITY.PURE QUALITY.''... met so many ppl in the trip n noe so many things n experience so many great things in viet n laos... mixing ard wif those ppl who quit their jobs or juz went overseas to study a language actually gives me another insight to life... Adam n eileen went china to study chinese... ben went to germany... the 2 swedish gers went to france... gng to another country juz to study language is not an absurd idea actually eh?!.. still remembering last yr when i was touring swiss, i was toking to a german swiss ger on the train n she said she went to ireland to study english... i was tinking '' is she crazy?! in spore, u can juz go orchard rd sign up some program can liao wat!!'' now tinking of it, she isnt so weird afterall...

juz signed up for my SAT... hopefully i can get a decent score for it...den i can get the license to study in the states or canada... tml i m gng to settle some shit so i can apply to UNSW from QUT... hopefully next yr i can get to UNSW n den after the winter holis, probably go experience a new life in scotland or england if i can get in to their unis... shit!! tat's means i haf to change my plans to explore aussie, NZ, the pacific islands as well as PNG!!

life's great!! n there is soooo much more to experience...n sorry to the lecturers for pontenging the first wk of class.. PLS DO NOT BLACKLIST ME

the dead body of my fx 01

horrible horrible shit happened at luang pabang , the land of the ''pabang kias''.. i flew off the bike when i was mountain biking n i smashed my camera, injured my right leg n arms!! ...now my right arm cant stop hurting whenever i bath or bend .. n i cant walk down a stairs wifout hurting my knee... farking suay... i was SOOO looking forward to tubing in vient vieng!! now i can onli sit dwon in a cafe, drink some milkshakes n watch friends the whole day while weiping enjoys himself in a 1 day trek , kayaking n tubing trip...

oh well.. watching friends arent tat bad ya?! sorta remind me of the my primary sch days when watching friends are so hard.. i can onli watch friends when 'gao xiao xin dong '' is hafing commercials !!...i gonna get all the ten seasons of friends when i get back ... it's sooo funny n STILL the best tv show ever(heroes comes a close second)

oh the rumors of laos ppl carrying machine guns around are true! the bus we took to vient vieng had 2 kids carrying machine guns n 1 kid carry a box of ammos came into the bus...n they were sitting right behind me!.. i would veri like to take of a pic of them wif the rifles... but weiping would fuck me upside down to risk our lives over 1 dumb pic... i tink they are probably the guardians of our bus...n whenever the bus stops near the forest for us to pee, we are not advised to venture into the forest n juz pee along the road side.. coz the land mines there are not completely cleared n yes bandits are everywhere...

last nite the whole city blacked out for 1 hr!!... luckly i didnt go to the toilet..or most likely i will be falling into a of teh shit holes(the toilets here are like the old toilet of china... juz a hole wif no flush)...

the missing person ads

fellow singaporeans

the CN235

haf been mixing ard so many ppl from different countries these few day... adam, the american n his filipino gf, sarah n steph-2 swedish babes, some turks, some rare fellow singaporeans n of course our beloved cockster roomate ben... it's so funny to notice teh difference in the way they exclaim ..

the brits: '' brilliant. absolute brilliance.'' or ''quality.pure quality''
aussies: '' beautiful.''
americans: '' awesome!'' or ''sweet''
sporeans: '' wah lan!..shiok ar!''

ysd went to this kuangsi waterfall.. i climb halfway my flipflops chui...max shag! den i haf to climb all the way down n buy an overpriced pair n too lazy to join the others in climbing to the top... but i got a chance to tok to the locals!.. the waterfall is in tapan village, an hr drive from the '' town''.. the ger i tok to neva ever roamed out of this village before though she's 25 n haf 2 babies.. super shag man.. the village is so damn small, probably the size of smu the most..it's so sad lar...juz imagine.... u haf neva ever roamed out of bishan n tot tat teh horrible ba chor mee in thomson is actaully the best in the world!! OMG...

we did the EBOLA trick again.. fooling the cyclo driver who keeps asking us to sit his trishaw... i ahf actually designed a Ebo Dollar... hahaha.. to counter the newest scam in viet... (the kids in veit will ask u where u from n beg to see ur country's notes den they will snatch it away from u or beg u like crazy to gif them)... i faked the driver that the ebola dollar could exchange for 50 usd(it makes sense since it's so rare n designed by an extremely talented ebola prince)... i wanted so much to show him n stun him but after he was told tat we are from ebola , he neva follow us alr...:(

oh yar.. i saw a few ''missing person'' notice on the walls !! damn shag.. apparently kidnapping is veri rampant in Laos.. they kidnap the tourists not to get ransom though.. it's to get their knowledge n to learn english.. n most of the time the person who got kidnapped will be forced to marry the hottest lao ger(or guy) in the tribe to produce the best babies!! woo hoo.. i certainly dont mind getting kidnapped..haha.. n the routes to Viantianne is pretty dangerous... heard from several backpackers who came from there said that people carry machine guns around n recently in 2004, a few europeans n even laos ppl taking the tour bus got gunned down n robbed...n since laos NEVA EVER leak information abt such things to the world, we reckon that there might be more than an isolated incident..oh well.. hope nothing happens, n if anything is gonna happen i hope it's a kidnap:)

kanna cheated by the tour agency ... they promised us vietnam airlines den end up we got LAOS AIRLINE!! probably the worst airline in the world n we paid alot extra for it... no wonder teh ger keep delaying giving us the air tix and she even use a vietnam airlines ticket cover to conceal the laos airlines tix...

laos airlines uses a fucking military plane for the flight! can be believe it.. CN 235!! n it has propellers tat generate crazy amounts of sound..n as i had said before.. if u die in a flight in laos ariline , no fucking human being will noe tat u are dead coz they dont release their flight records...!

but luaang prabang is FANTASTIC!! Hoi an pales soooo much in comparison...it has sooo much charm in the whole city n the food is great...totally worth the life-threatening flight here..ahahha...

we got to stay wif a londoner called ben.. he is damn cool... he worked in jp morgan n he quited his job to travel ard... he visited so much countries before... mongolia , almost whole of europe, SEA, china, india, america..

penguins at halong bay

halong bay has veri veri nice caves... n there were penguins!! i was wondeering how the penguins can survive in the caves since there is no fishes inside n quite dried up... appparently the penguins fed on the rubbish n trash left behind by tourists...

the penguins of halong bay

back from halong bay!! ... it's a fantastic trip... the scene is beautiful n able to chill out at the boat , suntanning n listening to my ipod was probably the best in the whole trip...i was randoming my songs den suddenly an old song by zhang xin zhe came out...it's an bloody old song which i tink i heard it when i was in primary 3 or 4... it's kinda revokes all the old memories ... kindergarden, primary ,sec, jc n army days...

on the way to halong bay i got to tok to this asian ger who lives in NSW.. she quite cute n funny... she keep saying she's hungry on the bus trip so i tok cock wif her.,.

''i m hungry''
''tink of shit den..u will feel less hungry''
''WAT?!''
''dont tink of the solid ones, tink of the liquid ones''
''stop it! or i will puke my breakfast on u ''
''great! tat will make u slimmer''
''............. tat's the 3 most outregeous comments i heard ''

haha... so funny to see her looking stunned...but damn i didnt get her email...i didnt even get her name after we toked for more than 5 hrs!! i went to the toilet n her boat is ready n when i m out she's gone alr!!...n i cant see her anywhere in Cat Ba island..tml we are flying to laos n she's gng back to Kunming in china to do her exchange for another 6 mths.. oh well...

met some realli cool ppl in the trip... tok to this ger from vancuver , she's a medical student doing her research in india n she told us abt her interesting stories of her travel... den there's a irish professional poker player...he started his travel in asia in singapore when he was invited to the 2007 poker world championship..cool ya?!

EBOLA princes

boat trip to the tombs

the 2 ebola princes n hussien

agent jay at 'my son'


went for massage... sibe shag... i see the receptionists like quite chio so i went in den an OLD auntie come n massage me instead!!... super sianzz ... everytime i go massage always kanna the old or ugly ones...tat time went to batam wif weekee, jingmin they all , i got a extremely fugly n fat women n NOW I got an auntie!!... super turn off...oh well mayb it's a blessing in disguise...haha... it is rumored that the older or uglier the women is , the more skilled she is in massaging


todae went for a boat trip to the tombs of the emperors n the thien mu pagoda... the bloody boatman tried to con us again... i m totally sick of such cons alr...he purposely stopped us at a faraway dock... so far away from the tomb tat we had to take an overpriced scooter there(abt 20k..usual price is 10k)...so we dulan..die die also dun go n all the backpackers in our boat also dont wan to take the scooters..so he lan lan had to bring us to the next stop...the tomb also not veri exciting so i dont realli care.. the real deal is the ming something tomb.. which is the last stop..den the boat bring us to a stupid temple which we had to pay 22k for the entrance fee... seriously i haf neva heard of this temple AT ALL!!! n non of the backpackers did either.. so all of us gang up not to enter it...got to tok to the fellow backpackers n all of us tink tat it is a fake temple!! it is one of the veri common scams here...

OH i juz founded a new country!!... it's called Ebola...haha....kinda of sick of ppl asking us where we from n all those shit stuff so we came up wif a fake country call EBOLA...n it's abt time we tried to trick them back!!! i m the prince of ebola.. weiping suggests it to be in the middle of india n china but i tink being somewhere near the pacific islands sounds more cool..

HU LI

i dunnoe why i cant view my blog or any other blogs but could do a new post... it's happening everywhere in vietnam...mayb it's a communist thingy.. in china u cant view most blogs too...now in this dumb cafe, i m overpaying yet it's so slow tat i cant upload any pics

kinda get used to the viet traffic... it's crazy n realli nuts!! most of the time u will be safer if u cross the road wif ur eyes closed rather than opening ur eyes... the viets predict ur movement on the road so if u see tons of bikes moving ard n if u humji n stop like u do usually in spore or aussie u are seriously in big fuck shit...

todae is a shag day... dunnoe why it's sooooo hot n we went the wrong way on the road the the mini- forbidden city in Hue.. we walked like crazy for 1.5 hrs!! n ended up in a cockanathan school..fortunately in the end we managed to find the place but we are raelli too shag to realli explore the whole palace...

we had dinner wif hussien , a canadian who we met like almost 5 times from nhu trang to hoi an .. he was a pretty cool n ni ce guy .. he backpacked alone for like for 2 plus mths already.. backpacking alone is realli gd fun n can meet n talk to many other ppl ard... had a pretty shaggy discussion n how to go laos again todae... veri sianzz... laos is sooo inaccessible n the easier ways to get there is crazily exp... somemore in laos , we cant fly from city to city coz their onli airline(laos airlines) are fucked up(they kept their accidents n flight data secret)... so we dont actually noe how many ppl died in the flights n if we die in the flight, no one will noe!! i can be pretty daring to try new stuff but this is too crazy